Communication Tips for Divorced Moms Co-Parenting With a High-Conflict Ex, Who Tries to Blame You For Everything.

Communication Tips for Divorced Moms: How to Stay Calm and Confident With a High-Conflict Ex

This post is part of the From Surviving to Thriving: A Single Mom's Guide to Rebuilding After Divorce series—a resource for divorced single moms who are ready to move beyond survival mode. Here, you'll find honest conversations, practical tools, and powerful mindset shifts to help you feel calm, confident, and in control—no matter what your ex throws your way.

The Most Exhausting Part of Divorce No One Talks About

You can handle the logistics. You can even handle the loneliness.

But the one thing that keeps your stomach in knots long after the papers are signed?

Communication.

Because no matter how organized or emotionally grounded you try to be, one text from your ex can send your nervous system into overdrive.

• Maybe it's a last-minute custody change.

• Maybe it's the passive-aggressive comments about your parenting.

• Perhaps it's the guilt trips, the blame, or the endless attempts to pull you into another argument.

It's not just "co-parenting." It's emotional management on steroids.

And that's exactly why learning how to communicate strategically, not reactively, is one of the most powerful skills you can build after divorce.

3 Communication Tips That Protect Your Peace

1. Communicate Like a Business, Not a Marriage

This isn't a relationship anymore—it's a partnership focused on one shared goal: your children.

That means keeping emotions out of the equation and treating every message like a professional email.

• Be Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm (BIFF).

• Stick to facts and logistics only.

• Remove explanations, defensiveness, and emotional language.

Example:

❌ "You're always changing plans last minute. This isn't fair.

" ✅ "I'm available for the original drop-off time we agreed to. Please confirm."

Why it works: It leaves no room for argument—and sends the message that you're no longer available for drama.

2. Don't Engage in Power Struggles

High-conflict exes thrive on reaction. The more emotional energy you give, the more control they feel. Instead of trying to "win," focus on neutrality.

If he tries to provoke you, remember: silence, boundaries, or a calm one-line reply are all valid responses.

Example:

When he says, "You're being impossible,"

✅ Try: "I'm not available for this discussion right now. Please email me regarding scheduling."

You don't owe emotional explanations, only logistical clarity.

3. Use a "Prep & Debrief" Routine

You can't always avoid stressful exchanges, but you can control how you enter and exit them. That's why I created my free Prep & Debrief Ritual.

A simple, 5-minute guide to help you:

✨ Ground yourself before communication

✨ Respond calmly instead of reacting

✨ Release stress and recover afterward

It's the exact process I teach my coaching clients to regulate their emotions, rebuild confidence, and stop letting their ex control their peace.

Do you want to receive this free resource?

👉 Send me an email to tiffany@tiffanyowenscoaching.com

The Real Win: Emotional Detachment

Communication is less about what you say—and more about the energy you bring into the interaction.

When you stop defending yourself, justifying your choices, or seeking validation, you take away his power to control how you feel. You become the calm in the chaos.

And that's where real freedom begins.

Want to Go Deeper?

If you're ready to take communication from reactive to regulated, I can help.

Start with these free resources designed specifically for divorced single moms co-parenting with a high-conflict ex:

💬 Communication Scripts — real examples of how to respond with calm confidence when your ex tries to provoke, manipulate, or guilt you.

And if you're ready for deeper, one-on-one support, my StrongHER Coaching Program is where we build your long-term peace plan—customized communication strategies, boundaries that hold under pressure, and the confidence to handle anything that comes your way.

👉 Get both freebies to get started, or book a Divorce Audit Call. "CLICK HERE" to see how we can take your communication and your peace to the next level.

You can't control his behavior, but you can master how you respond. That's where your power lives.

With support,

Tiffany Owens

CDC Certified Divorce Coach

tiffanyowenscoach.com